Bed jumping BANNED in the US!!!

Don’t ask me how I found this out but…

We are able to be the first to report that the practice of “bed jumping” has been banned by most major US hotel chains today.

“Bed jumping” is a new internet sensation where people take photos of each other in funny mid-air poses while jumping up and down on hotel beds. The practice has lead the members of US Hospitality Trade Association to agree on an association wide ban.

A spokeswoman for the organization gave us this statement:

The new internet sensation of bed jumping has cost the hospitality industry almost $52,000,000.00 in the last quarter alone. Most customers are not aware of the high cost of commercial mattresses. While manufactures are prepared for children to “bed jump,” the mattresses are not designed for jumpers over ~100lbs. Preliminary tests show that a mattress needs to be replaced after only 10-15 adult jumpers.

In the current economic market, it is not feasible for our members to absorb this high cost. The ban is meant to prevent hotels from adding a “jumping charge” to every room they book, which would increase the rate an average of $4 for every night.

Apparently it’s a big problem! I asked her what would happen to someone caught bed jumping and she said that the hotel would most likely not call the police, unless the staff observed actual damage to the mattress, though they would ask you to leave!

Published by

Paul J. McMaster

The best church ever

12 thoughts on “Bed jumping BANNED in the US!!!”

  1. Nice try, except that “the US Hospitality Trade Association” appears not to exist, and there is nothing about this in any news feed anywhere.

    All the links on the web point back to this one page.

    So either provide a source for the story or you’re a liar.

  2. Dear Paul,

    I’m glad you had nothing better to do in your sad, miserable life, than to make your own sorry “religion.” I’m doing a project on stupid religious websites, and congratulations! Yours is the stupidest I found. I also love how you post a random blog about “bed jumping” on your atheist website. So I gather that the only thing you’re going to post on your website is stupid shit that really doesn’t matter? That makes me want to join your church! Oh, and become an ordained minister. Thanks!

  3. Ihatestupidpeople you got a F do your homework the most stupid religious website are the ones who pray to George Lucas. Wait a secound i can see George i know hes there hmmmmm i bet praying to him i will get the same 50/50 chance u get when u pray to god and i do gotta say them light sabers were kool

  4. Your great blog is merely worth a read if anyone comes across it. Im lucky i did because now Ive got a total new view of this particular. I didnt realise that issue was so important because of this universal. You definitely put it in perspective for us, thanks for the fantastic info.

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